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  Minnesota Multi-Species Fishing Tournaments Forum  Wright County Fishing Club  Joke of the Day...
 Re: Joke of the Day
 
 5/6/2008 4:11:56 PM
robbo
335 posts
3rd


Re: Joke of the Day
 (United States)
QuoteReply
A Wisconsin senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette
> convertible out of a Milwaukee dealership.
>
> Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying
> the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
>
> "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94 towards Madison,
> pushing the pedal even more.
> Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State Patrol car
> behind him, blue and red lights flashing.
> He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.
> Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this,"
> and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
> Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette,
> looked at his watch and said,
> "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you
> can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
>
> The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran
> off with a Wisconsin State Trooper.
> I thought you were bringing her back."
>
> "Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper
>
>
 5/22/2008 2:30:09 PM
cooke350
390 posts
cookeagency.com
3rd




Re: Joke of the Day
 (United States)
QuoteReply
" The Obedient Wife'

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a moment!' She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
 
So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'
 
The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I made a promise to him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check!'

"Team Barley Afloat - MMTS" ..... "2006 MMTS Rookie Of The Year" ..... "2006 MMTS Biggest Walleye" .....
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 6/2/2008 6:10:57 PM
robbo
335 posts
3rd


Re: Joke of the Day
 (United States)
QuoteReply
Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him 'playing church' with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.

She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!'

Johnny looked up at her and said, 'He should have thought about that before he joined my church.'


 7/11/2008 5:26:48 PM
robbo
335 posts
3rd


Re: Joke of the Day
 (United States)
QuoteReply
 A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on thedoor. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push."Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"He slams the door and returns to bed."Who was that?" asked his wife."Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers."Did you help him?" she asks."No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!""Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you rememberabout three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.He calls out into the dark,"Hello, are you still there?""Yes," comes back the answer."Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband."Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark."Where are you?" asks the husband."Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
>
 9/24/2008 5:54:47 PM
robbo
335 posts
3rd


Re: Joke of the Day
 (United States) Modified By robbo on 9/24/2008 6:55:33 PM)
QuoteReply

Sorry its been awhile-- Good jokes are hard to find.  This is the first in a series:

>                 
> Two  blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were  doing some carpentry work
> on a Habitat for  Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down  house siding,
> would reach into her nail pouch,  pull out a nail, and either toss it over her 
> shoulde r or nail it in.
>
> Donna,  figuring this was worth looking into, asked,  'Why are you throwing
> those nails  away?'
>
> Carol explained, 'When I  pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them 
> have the head on the wrong end, and I throw them  away.'
>
> Donna got completely upset  and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't 
> defective! They're for the other side of the  house.
>
     PART TWO - TOMORROW
 Page 9 of 10
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